for fun

The 31st Proverbs Coach's Wife as translated by Rachel Broom Based on Proverbs 31: 10-31 (all word changes are in italics) Who can find a virtuous coach's wife?For her price is far above extra points. The heart of her coach safely trusts in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will cheer him and not boo him all the days of her life. She seeks uniforms and warm-ups and works willingly with her hands. She is like the grocery store; she brings her hospitality room food from afar. She rises also while it is yet night, and gives breakfast to the team and a portion to the cheerleaders. She considers a playing field, and (sometimes) must pay admission; with the fruit of her hands she plants team spirit. She perceives that the concession stand and gate are in good hands; the gym lights do not go out by night. She lays her hands on the game ball, and her hands hold the goalpost. She stretches out her hands to the gym rats; yea, she reaches forth her hands to the needy players. She is not afraid of the snow for her team; the school system will close and the tournament will be canceled. She makes herself coverings of school colors; her clothing is adorned with the school mascot. Her husband is known in the stands, when he sits among the parents of the players and fans of the school. She makes souvenirs and sells them. Strength and honor are her uniform; and she shall celebrate victory in time to come. She opens her mouth in wisdom for the referee; and in her cheers is the law of kindness. She looks well to ALL the ways of her household during season, and eats not the bread of idleness (no time). The players rise up, and call her blessed; her coach also, and he praises her at the banquet. Many coach's wives have done virtuously, but thou excel them all. Winning seasons are deceitful, and their glory is vain; but a coach's wife that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the fruits of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the hall of fame.