So, I'm entering a new week. It's crazy to think that I just buried my dad 5 days ago. It seems longer than that, I think. Back to life. I feel like, when something like death happens, we jump off the train of life to "deal with it." The train keeps going, people keep living life, but mine pauses for a moment. Last week, I tried to jump back on the moving train as it circled back around me. I'm not quite ready for all the quickness and busyness of life yet, but I know I have to be. The kids still have school, the house still needs to be cleaned, bills need to be paid, meals need to be prepared...in a way, I'm ready to get back to schedules, but, in another way, all I want to do is ...nothing.
My heart goes out to those who lose loved ones, old or young, expected or shocked.
2 comments:
I remember feeling the same way when Jadon died. My life was on pause while I was in the hospital and then while he was in the hospital and that was a time period of 3 weeks. Then after he died I still felt like my life was on pause for a while - months it seemed. But, everyone else was living on and like you said, you feel like doing nothing. Nothing else seems to be quite as important as you once thought it was. I honestly don't know if I could've ever survived something like that without Jesus.
He'll help you get back on the train and start feeling like living life again.
Don't get back on the train!!! I feel that our society pushes us to re-enter life before we're ready. And, those of us who are strong women go ahead and enter because we don't want to be weak or make "too big of a deal" about something. But, you're valid in how you feel. Take your time. The dirty dishes will always be there.
I'll call you later today.
Love you!
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