goodbye dad

this week has been a flood of ups and downs, tears and smiles. i experienced something i have never experienced before. i lost my dad. death looks horrible on a person. i try to remember my dad before he got sick. i have floods of pictures of him in my mind. pictures of when he was healthy. pictures of when he was himself. then, there is a shadow lingering in my mind of him overcome by sickness. i want that image to disappear. but i never want to forget what my dad looked like before he got sick.

he was a good man. he was an honest, hard-working man. he was a godly man. he was a good dad. he loved life. he loved Christ. that's what pulls me through. he gave me a childhood full of great memories.

i hate this disease for taking my dad away. for making him surrender the things he loved... working his land, hunting, pitching horseshoes, playing with his grandkids, sharing wisdom, giving his time...

thank you, God, for giving me my dad, even if for only a short time. and, even though i don't understand all of his life, you held it in Your hands.