the path

In church, we are in the midst of a series called "Destinations." The big idea is "The direction I'm going, not my intentions, determines my destination." It's a lot to digest. I mean, really, you can say, "Oh, wow. That's good stuff." But, when you really look at what that means and actually take time to determine where the path you are on is leading, it's a little overwhelming. In my case, I think my whole life is on the wrong path. It's not like I'm going in the completely wrong direction in every area, but I'm just a few degrees off, which can lead to a major detour down the road.

For instance, I have always dreamed of staying at home with my kids. A lot of the drive came from my childhood. Not that it was bad, but when I was in grade school, my mom worked (out of necessity) a full-time job. In a factory. (After I turned 18, I worked in that very same factory doing the same work that she did. Believe me, she wasn't working there because she enjoyed it.) She would work different shifts, too. I remember when she would work afternoons. I wouldn't see her after school or before I went to bed. When I woke up, she was home, and I got to spend some time with her. It was never enough, though. So, I was determined to stay home with my kids. And, my mom also helped lead me to the right path to do just that. But, sometimes, I find myself rushing my kids out the door to head to the neighbors so I can get to work. I really am not complaining here. I have worked at some very not-so-pretty jobs to earn money for college or just to help bring in some extra money. I know how bad it could be. I am blessed. Substitute teaching is a great job to have. However, recently, I've been on the wrong path, going in a direction that isn't leading me to the right destination. I lost my focus and finally realized that, for this season, it is my children and my husband. It is managing the house - which includes everything from vacuuming to making dentist appointments to volunteering at my children's schools. My focus is not teaching. It is not making extra money to buy things we don't need. I would much rather study sale ads and clip coupons and buy on clearance and be able to work less than to go out to eat every weekend and buy my kids the latest video games or designer jeans. So, I've had to change paths. And, to be honest, it hasn't been easy. Yes, it's easy to stay home and not work at a job. But, I have found it really hard to turn down work. It's not that I want the money. It's that I feel guilty if I can't help the school out by saying yes. Jason has been awesome in nudging me in the right direction. He doesn't want me to work - which is great! But we have decided that 2 days a week wouldn't be bad - if it doesn't interfere with our household running smoothly. We still have a few plans/goals for the basement, so the extra money would be helpful, but not necessary.

There was also a family path, a physical path, a spiritual path, a marital path, and a social path. However, this path is enough for now.

How about you? Are the paths you are on leading you toward the right destination, or are you traveling on I-55 South to get to Chicago?